Michelle Dewberry's Voice Causes Paranoia in Bog & Brush Patron 'Fred'

Fred, a regular patron of The Bog & Brush, has been feeling increasingly paranoid lately due to the voice of Michelle Dewberry, a presenter on the news channel GB News. According to Fred, Dewberry's voice is so smooth and soothing that it must be some kind of mind control tactic.

"I ain't never heard a voice like that before," says Fred, who has suffered numerous head injuries from working in a lumber yard for many years. "It's like she's talking straight to my brain, man. I can't trust that kind of smooth talkin'."

Despite the fact that Michelle Dewberry is a respected journalist with years of experience, Fred is convinced that she is up to no good. "I think she's trying to brainwash us all," he says. "I mean, have you ever seen her eyes? They're like two black holes, sucking you in."

While Fred's paranoia may seem unfounded to some, it's not entirely without merit. After all, GB News has been known to have a conservative bias, and it's not uncommon for news channels to use tactics like soothing voices and repetitive messaging to influence their viewers.

Regardless of the truth behind Fred's paranoia, one thing is for sure: Michelle Dewberry's voice is not going anywhere, and it seems that Fred will have to learn to live with it.

As for Dewberry herself, she has yet to comment on the accusations of mind control, but we can assume she's taking it all in stride.

"I've been in this business for a long time," says Dewberry. "You learn to take the good with the bad."

Comedy